Some Worries

Hi, hope you're having a good day
Due to my inability to get a normal amount of sleep, I usually spend that time late at night/early in the morning imaging myself in Italy.

MY NUMBER ONE FEAR is grades this year. My parents said I have to get everything above a B- in all my classes or
I
Can't
Go.
This worries me horribly. I have a C+ in honors history, a B- in honors bio, and a B- in math. We barely have any school left and I fear that I can't raise them. It's been causing a LOT of tension.. It's horrible. It's actually eating me alive thinking I wouldn't be able to go cause I have a B- in biology or something... I can't even describe the feeling..
So I'm extremely paranoid about that, so I'm now working as hard as I can to see if I can go for sure, but I'm not super hopeful :(

So sadly I found out I have to take Honors Rhetoric and Style from my school here in the US which I HATE! I hate the English program in my school because it's extremely rigorous. I mean I have a B in my current honors English class, but still I've always hated English at my school. It's diction and syntax which I DESPISE, but for the whole course. The whole online course, on the one thing I hate. Wonderful. And now since I'll be living in another language and using different grammatical structures and whatnot, how will I write the 437328948 essays I'll have to do for the class without TONS of mistakes later in? I'll be completely immersed in Italian and most likely forget some English in the process, so I'm extremely worried about that.

Another worry I have is my placement. What if they can't find a family for me or something like that? I chose Rome or Milan like I said, and I said a few of my little preferences (likes to travel, I HAVE to play tennis, really artsy, etc.) and I'm just scared I'll get a family I don't like. I really don't want to change families sometime throughout the program. My biggest fear is probably having a family who's overly conservative. I am Christian yes, but I'm not totally devout, and I wouldn't want a family who's like, super devout, and I mean those who, say, will restrict what music I listen to, or won't let me watch shows like shows meant for my age and things like that. I'm totally okay with a religious family, just not those like Ned Flanders on The Simpsons. I know it sounds a little dumb, but everyone has their own slightly shallow fears for their host families. But I'm super excited for my family though!

Aside from the little worries, I'm just getting by in school. We get out May 30, so only 36 school days left! I'm thinking of buying an American flag and bringing it on the last day, and having all my friends sign it, then bring it to Italy to hang in my room. Then when I leave, I'll buy an Italian flag and have my host family and friends abroad sign it, then hang both in my room. Or I'll use one Italian flag for everything to represent coexistence between my groups of friends halfway across the world, and use an Italian flag instead of our flag so represent my departure (my USA friends' messages) and my home for a year. I'll figure it out.

Sorry for boring you with this post, so here's a few photos of Italy I took last year on my phone c:

My first gelato in Italy! Vatican strawberry lemon gelato is wonderful.

Some really cool buildings (one of my favorites I took) (this is actually my background on my laptop!)  (This is the photo above)

More buildings!

The Coliseum! (One of my favorites as well)

Oh hey Milan.

Florence! I originally picked Florence because it's to me the most beautiful city in Italy, and maybe even the world, but it's too small, which was a deal breaker. I'll be better off in a big city, and I LOVE Rome and Milan too! I plan to study abroad in Florence during college (and Paris, London,Tokyo, and maybe Dubai and maybe Berlin).

Oh look it's me in Florence on top of the Duomo.